Saturday, March 08, 2008

CRAPOLA FILLS MY BULK MAIL BOX

I'm 81 years old. My plumbing no longer works and seems to be beyond repair. Spammers must have gotten ahold of my profile. Daily, my bulk mail box gets filled with come-ons promising to cure my erectile dysfunciton or promising to endow me with the secret weapon of male porno stars. Yeah, right. Let me give you just a few examples of this crapola.

"Imagine how your girl will be happy to see this large love gun!"

"Get the best shape of your babymaker!"

"Millions of men over the world already tested THIS and ARE making their girlfri..."

"Bring more joy to your life, get a bluepill!"

"3 extra inches in 3 weeks!"

"Only the best blue-pills here!"

"Women will not tell you what really works, but we do. BLuepill works. Always."

"We can tell what really works!"

"GLobal potence ensurer!"

"Feel all the benefits of magic blue colored-tabs!"

"Hot chixs. Ponetnce. Blue-colored-tab." (Ponetnce??? Must be a misspelling of potence.)

"Want to be called Macho?"

"Get a secret weapon of xxx-stars!"

"Bluepill will make your hard stone even harder!"

"Can't make your girl groan from pleasure? Bluepill will save you!"

"Try this, and stimulate even the deepest of her love spots!"

Anyway, you get the idea. You've probably gotten many of these come-ons yourself, your age notwithstanding. I, for one, never click on any of this crapola. I'm sure that I am beyond getting a hard stone and I never could come anywhere close to the endurance of a porno star. I suspect that the only groans I would hear from a girl would be groans of disgust, not pleasure.

To top things off, today I was one of a long list of recipients, who found this letter from some poor Malaysian wench in my inbox.

"Hello There,
How are you doing today? I just hope all is good and ok with you and i am glad to hear from you..I am Harriet and 32 years of age and living in Malaysia..I do have my degree in Accounting and currently not working as its hard finding a job over here..I have not been married before and don't have children as well..I am seriously looking for a serious soul mate with whom i can be with and spend the rest of my life with..Someone who is caring,loving,sweet and hard working as well and is also willing to spend his rest of his life with me...Below are some pictures of me and hope you do like them...Can you send me some pictures of yourself and telling me about yourself as well..

Have a good day and Take care
Harriet"

Now if I were single, in my 30s, and had some of those magic blue colored-tabs to give me a large love gun, I might be tempted to compete for Harriet's attention. Then if we ended up together, my harder hard stone babymaker would make Harriet groan with pleasure as I stimulated the deepest of her love spots. But since I am no longer capable of experiencing what is now just a pipe dream, I didn't bother to look at her pictures before clicking on the delete box. Oh yes, I've gotta go now and gulp down my daily dose of stool softeners. Have a good day and take care.

No comments: