Wednesday, February 18, 2015

HARRY SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT SOME NEW UNDERWEAR BEFORE HE WENT TO SEE THE DOCTOR

The Unconventional Gazette
February 17, 2015

The doctor said, "Harry, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

I was shocked and depressed. I wondered if I had anything to live for. I had no choice but to go under the knife. When I left the hospital, I was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but I felt like I was missing an important part of m yself. As I walked down the street, I realized that I felt like a different person. I could make a new beginning and live a new life.

I saw a men's clothing store and thought, that's what I need... A new suit... I entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed me briefly and said, "Let's see... Size 44 long."

I laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.

I tried on the suit it fit perfectly.

As I admired myself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

I thought for a moment, and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed me and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."

I was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years."

I tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

I walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

I thought for a moment, and said, "Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see... Size 36.

I laughed, "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

There is nothing worse than tight underwear except no underwear with Levi jeans.