The Onion
October 3, 2015
WASHINGTON—Researchers at the Urban Institute published a study Friday confirming that a sharp increase in gun sales nationwide would be the most concrete result of the impassioned pro-gun-control speech that President Obama delivered following yesterday’s mass shooting in Oregon.
“According to our analysis, by far the most tangible impact of the president emotionally urging the nation to consider how their votes can prevent mass shootings like this will be a 17 percent spike in revenue for firearm vendors across the U.S.,” said report co-author Kyle Bieler, who found a direct link between the estimated $58 million uptick in gun sales over the next month and Obama’s use of the phrases “common-sense legislation,” “only advanced country,” and “not enough.”
“The portion of the president’s remarks in which he asked for support from state legislatures and governors will, based on our projections, nearly double the number of sidearm purchases this year. Beyond that, the only other material change that is likely to result from Obama calling on elected officials and everyday citizens to work together to reduce gun violence will be the purchase of roughly 100 million rounds of ammunition.”
Bieler noted that the president’s support for responsible gun ownership will likely have no impact on sales, as Americans would have likely already walked out of their front door, started their car, and driven to their nearest gun store long before that point in the speech.
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