SHERIFF PEPE LEPEW

If it has a stripe like a skunk, if it lifts its tail like a skunk, and if it stinks like a skunk, it must be a skunk. The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department (LASO) is at it again. And it stinks like a skunk. The sudden early release of Paris Hilton by Los Angeles Sheriff Pepe LePew had a real stench to it.

After getting caught driving with a suspended license three times while on probation following a drunk driving arrest, Paris Hilton was finally sentenced to serve 45 days in jail by a judge who had lost patience with the partying Hilton Hotel heiress' thumbing of her nose at the law. Well before she ever turned herself in, LASO declared that, for good behavior, Paris would serve only 23 days at most.

Then, after only 72 hours of confinement, LASO released Paris with an electronic monitoring bracelet to detention in her family's multi-million dollar Hollywood Hills mansion. At first, LASO announced they had released Paris in accordance with the direction of the court. During an unusual press conference, a spokesman for the courts denied that assertion, pointing out that Judge Michael Sauer had specifically ordered that Paris would not be allowed any work release, furloughs or use of an alternative jail, or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail. LASO then changed its story to say Paris had been released because of a medical condition.

A public outcry about justice for the wealthy and for celebrities as opposed to justice for common folks led the prosecutor to seek a new hearing before Judge Sauer. Instead of being driven to the courthouse in her family's luxury SUV, a weeping Paris was handcuffed and transported in a sheriff's squad car. The judge ordered her back to jail. With tears streaming down her face, she turned to her mother and cried out "mom" several times and screamed "this isn't right" as she was handcuffed again and led out of the courtroom.

An angry Sheriff Lee "Pepe LePew" Baca then held his own press conference. He explained that his jail was overcrowded and that he was under federal court orders to reduce the jail population. He claimed that "low level" offenders, like Paris, were routinely released once they had served ten percent of their sentence. He intimated she was jailed while already afflicted with a psychological disorder and her release was based, not on her low level designation, but on a deteriorating mental health condition.

If you believe that I'll sell you some ocean front property in Arizona. You can bet that among common folk inmates, not all low level offenders are routinely released upon serving only ten percent of their sentence. And, if LASO were to release all inmates with deteriorating mental health problems, Sheriff Pepe LePew's jail would be half empty and no longer under federal court supervision.

By the way, LASO took the unprecedented step of inviting Paris Hilton's personal psychiatrist to come to the jail and examine their inmate. That just isn't done without a court order. Sheriff Pepe LePew had to know that in having Paris examined by her own psychiatrist, he could count on a diagnosis which would justify her immediate release. Another example of celebrity justice.

Wait, that's not all. When her sister and an ex-boyfriend came to visit Paris after her reincarceration, LASO ushered them right into the jail, past the common folks standing for hours in long lines while waiting their turn to visit loved ones. That travesty was followed up on the next visiting day, when her parents were afforded the same favorable treatment. Pepe LePew's spokesman asserted it was routine for high-profile inmates to receive visitors during lunch, a time when the visiting room is normally cleared out and closed. What a crock! There is no good reason why Paris' visitors shouldn't have to wait in line like everyone else.

And, concerning Paris' medical condition, what is a 26 year old woman under treatment and medication for a psychological disorder doing drinking and carousing around all the time all night long? Paris was not calling out "mom, this isn't right" while on the nightly party circuit. David Letterman had it right when he referred to her medical condition as "rich bitchitis."

Pepe LePew Baca has no credibility with me. This is the guy whose department released actress Michelle Rodriguez, former star of ABC's Lost, from jail last year after she served less than one day of a 60 day sentence. And this is the guy whose department tried to cover up Mel Gibson's rant against Jews during his drunk driving arrest last July. He and/or his commanders ordered the arresting deputy to sanitize the arrest by rewriting the initial report, deleting all references to Gibson's anti-Semitic outburst.

Had TMZ.com, a celebrity news website, not obtained and released a copy of the initial report, no one would have ever learned of Gibson's hateful tirade. Oh, did I forget to mention that Gibson is a personal friend of Pepe LePew Baca? Since taking office, this stinkpot of a Sheriff has been accused of using his authority to benefit friends and supporters, and he has accepted thousands of dollars worth of free meals, sports tickets and trips. Peter J. Pitchess, the former long-time (1958-82) respected Sheriff of Los Angeles County, must be turning over in his grave, what with that awful stench arising from his beloved LASO.