The Unconventional Gazette
August 23, 2013
A Harley biker is riding by the National Zoo in Washington, DC when he sees a little girl who had apparently climbed over the visitor railing and was leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.
The biker jumps off his Harley, leaps over the railing to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter from The Washington Post watched the whole event.
The reporter, addressing the Harley rider, says, “Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.”
The Harley rider replies, “Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.”
The reporter says, “Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's Post will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?”
The biker replies, “I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.”
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the day’s Washington Post to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:
“U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS D.C. AFRICAN RESIDENT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH!”
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