Breaking News: NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon fires entire pit crew!
In a budget-slashing move, Gordon announced that he had gone along with President Obama's proposal to employ Harlem youngsters. The Treasury Department provides federal subsidies to businesses that hire disadvantaged youths. The move also allows Gordon to take advantage of the special skills acquired by youths as they grow up in the ghetto.
The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of dollars worth of high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team as most races are won or lost in the pits.
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to Dale Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower.
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