SHE'D RATHER BE READING A BOOK

MOST MARRIED WOMEN WOULD RATHER GO TO SLEEP, READ A BOOK OR WATCH A FILM THAN HAVE SEX
By Daniel Bates

Mail Online
May 22, 2010

If you have ever turned to your husband and said 'not tonight, darling' then fear not - you are definitely not alone.

Most married women would rather go to sleep, read a book or watch a film than have sex, a survey has found.

Sixty-three per cent said they would choose hitting the pillow straight away, putting on the TV or a opening a book over sex.

However, it was not all bad news with 37 per cent saying there was 'nothing else' they would rather do than make love to their husband.

Experts have blamed the lack of enthusiasm in most women on laziness from both partners and an increasing amount of distractions in the modern world.

Relationships therapist Ian Kerner said: 'You may say you're happy with your sex life, but in the end, if night after night you're consistently picking a book, TV, Facebook, digital networking, any distraction that's out there over intimacy with your partner, in the long run, your relationship could become vulnerable to things like infidelity.

'So you have to put sex at the centre of your relationship.'

The survey by American motherhood website iVillage also found that over-familiarity may play a part. Of the 2,000 women surveyed, more than 80 per cent described their sex lives as predictable.

Some 67 per cent said that the position was too repetitive, whilst 56 per cent said the time of day it happened was the same every time.

An alarming 45 per cent could only say at best they were 'somewhat happy' with their sex life and 62 per cent said they fantasise about having sex with somebody who is not their husband.

A third of married couples have not tried anything new in a year or more and just over half will have sex even if they don't want to out of a sense of marital obligation.

Mr Kerner added: 'I think your sex life is sort of like going to the gym. You got to get back into the routine and it's a little hard at the beginning, but once you do it, it's like try it, you'll like it. You'll want to keep going to the gym.'

Liz Zack, editor of pregnancy and parenting at iVillage, said the key was to 'know your spouse. You certainly have to know your spouse.'

But she added: 'Who can't relate to that state, when sometimes you and your partner, your bio rhythms are just a little bit off, and sometimes you would rather finish your book than get to it.'

Mr Kerner said a lot of women fantasise during sex about someone other than who they are having sex with.

'Fantasy is a taboo and in the privacy of your own imagination "everything goes",' he said.

'If you have that trust you can say, "Hey, I'm thinking about Brad Pitt". It all depends on the relationship.'