NO NEED FOR A TURD EXPERT

Hmm, I wonder what in the shit they pay Turd Experts? If there are such experts, I think I qualify. After all, I’ve gotten myself in a lot of shit over the years

IOWA COURT OF APPEALS NOTES “THE REMARKABLE VERSATILITY OF THE WORD SHIT”

Legal Skills Prof Blog
July 13, 2011

In this opinion (State v. Landis) filed by the Iowa Court of Appeals, the court had to consider whether there was sufficient evidence at trial to support the conviction of the defendant-prisoner for spraying a correctional officer with feces in violation of Iowa Code section 708.3B (which makes it a felony for inmates to assault prison employees with "blood, seminal fluid, urine, or feces").

The prosecution offered two types of evidence at trial; eyewitness testimony that the defendant sprayed a substance that looked, "felt" and smelled like feces and a statement by the defendant himself following the incident in which he said "I got you, [correctional officer]. I threw shit on you.”

Although the defendant argued that the state failed to prove its case because it didn't call an expert witness to establish that the substance in question was in fact feces, the appellant court concluded that the ability to identify feces is within the province of the average person:

__Indeed, it would be a rare person who had no personal experience with feces. We do not believe the identification of feces falls solely within the domain of expert testimony. Upon submission of the evidence, the jury was to decide whether the State had proved the elements of the crime charged and could use their common sense and daily experiences in determining whether the brown substance was feces.
. . . .

__Paraphrase of an old adage seems apropos under the circumstances: If it looks like feces, if it smells like feces, if it has the color and texture of feces, then it must be feces. No witness with a degree in scatology was required, nor was scientific testing required to establish the fact the substance was feces. Thus, Landis‟s conviction for assault on a correctional officer with a bodily fluid was supported by sufficient evidence.

With respect to the defendant's argument that his statement "I threw shit on you" was insufficient, by itself, to support his conviction, the court agreed noting the ambiguity of that word in a very detailed footnote:

__“Shit” is defined as excrement. Webster‟s Third New Int‟l Dictionary 2098 (1993). But, the word has also been defined as nonsense, foolishness, something of little value, trivial and usually boastful or inaccurate talk, and a contemptible person. Id. This now ubiquitous word has acquired numerous popular usages apart from its literal meaning. It has been used to describe people, places, and things and to express a wide variety of emotions such as disappointment, disgust, despair, resignation, amazement, awe, shock, anger, and surprise. ……… The remarkable versatility of the word “shit” is also demonstrated in George Carlin‟s “Filthy Words,” a verbatim transcript of which is set forth in full in the appendix to the United States Supreme Court‟s opinion F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, 438 U.S. 726, 752-53, 98 S. Ct. 3026, 3042, 57 L. Ed. 2d 1073, 1094 (1978).

State v. Landis may be the last and best word on the inherent ambiguity of "shit."