Saturday, July 26, 2014

BURGER HEIST BY NAKED ‘KNUCKLEHEADS’

Two naked men and one wearing only briefs broke into a Bonita Beach, Florida eatery and took off with 60 burgers, three pounds of bacon and some red peppers

On Sunday at 3:06 a.m., three brazen burglars, two of them completely naked and one wearing only briefs, broke into the kitchen of Doc’s Beach House, an eatery at Florida’s Bonita Beach. Apparently the naked thieves were only after food and not any of the burger joint’s money. They absconded with 60 burgers, three pounds of bacon and some red peppers, as well as a paddleboard. The whole kitchen caper lasted only five minutes.

When the thieves realized they were being filmed by security cameras, they tried to cover up their dicks and faces. But they were too late, as the cameras caught their dicks and all.

Later that morning, Doc’s kitchen staff found the red peppers on the beach near a beach bathhouse about 100 yards from the eatery. The News-Press reports Shelly Isom, one of Doc’s waitresses, as saying “They left a trail like Hansel and Gretel. One of them probably said after, 'Uh, guys, where did we leave our clothes?’”

Nancy Sansevieri, another waitresses, laughingly referred to the trio as “knuckleheads’ and named them “Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest.”

Lou Bangert, Doc’s manager, told the News-Press that his waitresses “want to meet the bandits. Everybody wants to work the night shift now.”

Since the waitresses are hot to trot for the culprits, I would have to think they were very well endowed.

The police have released pictures of the thieves but the naked truth is that the bare-ass bandits remain unidentified and are still at large.

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