When you spend 41 days sailing to and from South America on a container ship, you pick up some interesting tidbits now and then which provide some good fodder for blogging. If you've read my blogs, you know that upon my return I published a blog on what the two pilots taking us up the New Orleans ship channel thought about drug use by professional atheletes and one on modern pirates of the sea. During this trip, I learned something new about the Department of Homeland Security which makes me question the sanity of that super agency's policy makers.
Every year since 1991, I have travelled to countries in South and Central America, Asia, and Europe. Whenever I returned, I was always treated with the utmost courtesy and respect by our immigration officers. Alas, others have not been as fortunate. The captain of my ship, for one, had a bad experience last year. I will not give you his name or the name of the ship because I do not want his name to pop up on an immigration shit list.
The captain and a sea cadet, both from Germany, flew into Miami where they were to board their ship. This was the cadet's first time in America. He was passed right through the airport's immigration station. The captain, who had been to this country many times over the years, was directed to another section of the station. When an officer started to examine his seaman's visa, which identified him as a ship's captain, the captain greeted the officer in his heavy German accent, "Hello officer, how are you today?" That friendly greeting was met with an icy glare and the captain was made to wait four hours before being passed through the station.
The captain's treatment was reminiscent of the indignities suffered by 86 year old Congressional Medal of Honor recipient Joe Foss last January, when some stupid security screeners at Phoenix International Airport mistook this nation's highest military award for a shunken, the Japanese Ninja throwing star. Both incidents are classic examples of the only way some people can feel big is by trying to make others feel little. And now, the captain knows THE GOLDEN RULE OF DEALING WITH AUTHORITY - SPEAK ONLY WHEN SPOKEN TO.
The captain told me that our immigration policies since 9/11 "don't make any sense." He informed me that a seaman who leaves his ship in Texas or Louisiana to return to his home country can only stay overnight and is required to leave the U.S. by the next day. However, if he leaves his ship in Florida, he is allowed to remain in this country for 90 days on his seaman's visa. The captain believed that Texas and Louisiana have their own immigration laws, but I explained to him that our states are prohibited from enacting such rules because only the federal government has the authority to regulate immigration.
Why in the world would a seaman be required to leave the U.S. within a day if he leaves his ship in Houston or in New Orleans, while he is allowed to remain for 90 days is he leaves his ship in Miami? My guess is it's because Texas and Louisiana's petro-chemical industries are prime terrorist targets, while the only industries in Florida are tourism and anti-Castroism. And, the captain is right - it doesn't make any sense. A seaman can leave his ship in Miami from where he can fly right on to Houston or New Orleans, and remain there until his 90 day visa expires.
Last July, I published a blog about the Department of Homeland Security entitled DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND PARANOIA - INTERNATIONAL TERRORISTS ARE TARGETING ICE CREAM PARLORS IN INDIANA. That super agency established a data base of 77,000 potential terrorist targets, with 8,591 in Indiana, 5687 in New York, and 3,212 in California. Because federal anti-terrorist funding is based on the number of targets, New York and the District of Columbia lost 40 percent of their funding to Indiana and some midwestern cities.
Next year, U.S. citizens will be required to have a passport when they return to this country from a visit to Canada or Mexico. The passport requirement is supposed to make us safer by making it harder for terrorists to enter this country. But, that doesn't make any sense either, when every week thousands of illegal aliens from Mexico and Central America flow unimpeded across the border separating California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas from Mexico. Homeland paranoia? Obviously, I misnamed the agency - I should have called it the DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND INSANITY.
The Department of Homeland Insanity is a huge bureaucracy which is sprinkled with political hacks in its upper echelons and with frustrated dead-enders at its lowest levels. The agency's upper echelon decision makers, trying to justify their jobs, have thought up the harebrained policies and data bases mentioned in this blog. The captain and Joe Foss had the misfortune of running into some frustrated lower level assholes who are unhappily mired in their dead-end jobs. On the upside, formation of this super agency has led to better intelligence sharing. But, are we actually any safer now? Does anyone really know?
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