GAY MARRIAGES

Last week, the California Supreme Court came down on the side of gay marriage, ruling that in California, gay couples were entitled to the full benefits of traditional marriages and that denying homosexuals the right to marry violated the State's constitution. Unlike the uproar over Massachusetts' gay marriage laws, this ruling has caused hardly a ripple of public reaction.

When Massachusetts legalized gay marriages, I tended to side with those who believed that marriages should be restricted to the union of a man and woman. Why? Probably because I was just simply old fashioned. At the time, I had long gotten over any ill feelings toward homosexuals. My acceptance of gays came about because I have had a number of colleagues who were homosexual. They minded their own business and were very competent professionals. At this time, I still have several gay friends.

My attitude toward gays has evolved over the years. At first, I had very strong feelings against gays because in 1944, right after I started my army basic training, a homosexual sergeant tried to coerce me into having sex with him. After I rejected his advances he begged me not to report him, then threatened to kill me if I did. I was a 17-year old recruit and he was an army drill sergeant. I believed he was quite capable of carrying out his threat. Through the rest of basic, I kept looking over my shoulder and avoided being by myself.

And back in the '50s, when I worked vice, we made frequent bar checks of the gay bars in Riverside County (California). Those bar checks were conducted to reduce acts of violence among and between gay couples and acquaintances, and were not intended to harrass homosexuals. The behavior I observed during those bar checks served to reinforce the feelings I had against gays.

To be honest, like all of my friends and fellow officers, I viewed homosexuality as an abnormal "sicko" kind of abhorrent behavior. Whenever I saw men dancing cheek-to-cheek in those gay bars, I couldn't help but laugh outloud. The first time I saw men "French kissing" each other, it almost made me want to puke. My fellow officers and I referred to homosexuals as queers, fags, faggots, fairies and some other names not fit to be mentioned here. But that was then and this is now.

What changed my views? Well, as I got to know homosexuals better I no longer saw them as disgusting individuals. Leaving aside their gay lifestyle, they are really no different from us heterosexual folks. And why do I now support gay marriage? For starters, half of all traditional first marriages and 60 percent of all second marriages now end in divorce. And today, there are millions of couples living together out of wedlock. What then makes marriage between man and woman so sacred?

When gay and lesbian couples are as committed, or more committed to each other than heterosexual couples why shouldn't they be afforded the same legal rights and benefits accruing from state sanctioned marriages? Frankly, I can't think of any good reason. In an initiative measure on this November's ballot, Californians may yet vote to overturn the court's decision. But, if gay marriages remain legal, I don't think the wrath of God will be brought down on the people of California.