USELESS DEGREES

As a retired academic, it never fails to amaze me that so many institutions of higher (???) education offer cultural diversity degree programs wich can best be described as "useless." These degree programs, the brain children of the academic left, were established to serve specific students who were perceived to be members of oppressed minorities.

Many of our leading colleges and universities offer degrees in African-American Studies, Women's (Feminist Male Bashing) Studies, Gay and Lesbian Studies and Transgender Studies. These cultural diversity degrees are useless to their holders except for those who plan to teach African-American Studies, Women's Studies, Gay and Lesbian Studies or Transgender Studies.

If we are going to offer a bunch of special degree programs for certain racial, ethnic and gender groups, then we should also design such useless programs for all identifiable racial, ethnic, gender and other culturally diverse groups. I am sure that our esteemed left-wing academics would be quick to agree that restricting degree programs to only a few identifiable groups, whether oppressed or not, would be discriminatory and should not be tolerated. So, to all you leftie professors out there, here is a partial list of additional cultural diversity degree programs for your consideration:

Short People Studies

Bald Men Studies

Impotent Men Studies

Frigid Women (Headache) Studies

Cheating Husbands and Wives Studies (due to popularity of program, enrollment limited to 1,000 students per semester)

Child Molester Studies

Native-American Studies

Irish-American (Drunkard) Studies

Italian-American (Mafia) Studies

German-American Studies (students required to bring and drink Beck's beer during all lectures)

Anglo-American Studies (no students of color allowed)

Polish-American Studies (several courses same as courses in Texas Aggies Studies)

French-American (Snobbery) Studies

Nigerian-American (Scam Artist) Studies

Mexican-American Studies (bilingual classes)

Anti-American-American Studies (Oliver Stone is guest lecturer; due to popularity of program, enrollment limited to 500 students per semester)

Asian-American Studies

Cuban-American (Castro Bashing) Studies

Guatemalan/Honduran/Salvadoran-American Studies

Jamaican-American (Drug Posse) Studies

Dominican/Haitian-American (Voodoo) Studies

Palestinian-American (Death to the Jews)) Studies

Muslim-American (Death to the Infidels) Studies

Hindu-American (Snake Charming) Studies

Buddhist-American (Ohhmmmm) Studies

Jewish-American Studies (bilingual classes - English and Yiddish)

Protestant-American (Catholic Bashing) Studies

Catholic-American (Protestant Bashing) Studies

Mormon-American (Protestant and Catholic Bashing) Studies

Atheist-American (God Bashing) Studies

Texas Aggies Studies (classes taught at fifth-grade reading level and coloring books used instead of traditional texts; several courses same as courses in Polish-American Studies)

EDITOR'S NOTE: My deepest apologies to any groups who may feel slighted by my failure to include them in this list of degree programs.