The Unconventional Gazette
October 27, 2012
It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid Texas hunter, woke up before daybreak, raring to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage.
Jake asks her, "What are you up to?"
Alice smiles, "I'm going hunting with you!"
Jake, although he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decides to take her along.
Three hours later they arrive at a game preserve just outside of San Marcos.
Jake sets his lovely wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her, "If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot."
Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn't bag an elephant - much less a deer.
Not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots. Quickly, Jake starts running back. As Jake gets closer to her stand, he hears Alice screaming, get the fuck away from my deer!"
Confused and frightened, Jake races faster towards his screaming wife. And again he hears her yell, "Get the fuck away from my deer!" followed by another volley of gunfire!
Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake is surprised to see a state game warden with his hands high in the air.
The game warden, obviously distraught, yelled, "Okay, lady! You can have your fucking deer, just let me get my saddle off of it!"
1 comment:
This sort of reminds me of a real story (of course this one could be true too) of a hunting party. Pretty much everybody rousts out about oh-dark-3o to be in position at day-break, except one old-time who is feeling the effects of a long drive. He sleeps in a bit, rolls out of bed about an hour after daybreak, and gets up to take a wizz. As he steps out of the tent he sees a pretty good buck munching on the feed for the horses. He quitely steps back into the tent, grabs his .45, steps out and fires one for effect. The deer takes a sideways jump, lands in the back of a pickup truck and dies. The old timer then finishes taking a wizz, starts the truck, drives under a tree and strings the deer up and commences to bleed and gut it. The rest of the hunting party rides back into camp late that day, very much surprised.
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