The Unconventional Gazette
November 22, 2014
Bill Clinton was driving home when he accidentally ran over his neighbor’s new puppy Sunny, crushing it flat as a fritter. He climbed out of his car and sat down on the grass totally distraught. He knew his neighbor’s family would go friggin' ballistic.
Then he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground. He dug it up, brushed it off and immediately a Genie popped out. "You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment," said the Genie "As a reward I shall grant you one wish."
"Well," said Bill, "I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this poor dog."
They walk over to the splattered remains of Sunny. "Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me?" Bill asked. The Genie looked at the remains and shook his head. "This critter is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life. Maybe there's something else you'd like?"
Bill thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos. "I had an affair with this beautiful young girl called Monica," said Bill, showing the genie the first photo. "But I’m actually married to this woman,” showing the genie a photo of Hillary. "You see Hillary isn't beautiful at all, so do you think you can make her look like Monica?"
The Genie studied the two photographs and after a few moments said, "Damn it, let's have another look at the dog!"
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