HARRY SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT SOME NEW UNDERWEAR BEFORE HE WENT TO SEE THE DOCTOR

The Unconventional Gazette
February 17, 2015

The doctor said, "Harry, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

I was shocked and depressed. I wondered if I had anything to live for. I had no choice but to go under the knife. When I left the hospital, I was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but I felt like I was missing an important part of m yself. As I walked down the street, I realized that I felt like a different person. I could make a new beginning and live a new life.

I saw a men's clothing store and thought, that's what I need... A new suit... I entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed me briefly and said, "Let's see... Size 44 long."

I laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.

I tried on the suit it fit perfectly.

As I admired myself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

I thought for a moment, and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed me and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."

I was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years."

I tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

I walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

I thought for a moment, and said, "Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see... Size 36.

I laughed, "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."