Thursday, June 27, 2013

500TH TEXAS EXECUTION CUSTOMER SHOWERED WITH PRIZES

By Pamela Putz

The Unconventional Gazette
June 27, 2013

HUNTSVILLE, Texas -- Kimberly McCarthy, 52, was convicted in 1997 of killing a 71-year-old retired college professor during a robbery. She was condemned to death for beating the victim with a candelabra and then stabbing her to death with a butcher knife. She also used the knife to dismember the victim’s finger to steal her wedding ring. McCarthy was also indicted but never tried in the 1988 murders of two other women, both in their 80s.

An eleventh hour appeal, which claimed McCarthy did not get a fair trial because blacks were excluded from the jury, did not succeed. Thus she would become the 500th murderer put to death since Texas resumed executions in 1982.

McCarthy was led into the Texas death chamber Wednesday by four guards, a prison chaplain and Warden James Jones. She was strapped onto the execution gurney and the lethal injection needle was inserted into a vein on her left arm.

Suddenly, a whole bunch of colored balloons and streamers dropped from the ceiling with horns blaring from a loudspeaker. A voice from the speaker shouts, ‘Congratulations Kim, you’re a winner as our 500th customer,’ followed by a recording of Barbra Streisand singing ‘Happy Days Are Here Again.’

Warden Jones turned to McCarthy and said, “Congratulations Kim, you’re our 500th customer and we’ve got some great prizes for you.”

Gov. Rick Perry walks into the death chamber and says, “Kim, I’ve never attended an execution before, but this is a special occasion. I want to present you with this framed and personally signed certificate denying you clemency. I may be president one day and if so, my signature could be worth some money. Anyway, I want to give you my heart-felt congratulations on being our lucky 500th customer.”

Warden Jones than says, “Kim, the Disney people want me to give you this life-time pass to Disney World. It’s a free pass that you can use any day of the year and it’s good for the rest of your life.”

Then a large closed-circuit television screen is lowered from the ceiling. Jesse Jackson appears on the screen and says, “Kim, I’m sorry I can’t be with you personally, but I want to let you know that you are the First Runner-Up of the Rainbow/PUSH’s ‘Racist Criminal Justice System Victim of the Year.’ I apologize for not honoring you with the victim of the year award, but I already gave that one to my son, Jesse Jr. Anyway I want you to know that everyone at Rainbow/PUSH is standing side-by-side with you.”

Next, Al Sharpton appears on the screen and says, “Sister Kim, forget that has-been Jesse. I’m proud to announce that you have been awarded the National Action Network’s ‘Racist Criminal Justice System Victim of the Year.’ No first runner-up from us. You’re the one. I know that you will cherish this award forever. Hang in there sister, we won’t let you down 'cause you done made all us black folk proud.”

Warden Jones then says, “Kim, the Carnival Cruise Line people want me to give you this free Luxury Class pass for you and a companion to take a cruise to Tahiti. As a special bonus for being our 500th customer, you and your companion will be seated for dinner at the Captain's table every evening during your cruise.”

Suddenly Jay-Z and Beyonce enter the death chamber. Beyonce says, “Kim honey, Jay-Z and I are dedicating this song especially to you.” Then they give forth with their duet rendition of ‘Forever Young.’

At the conclusion of the song, with Gov. Perry, Beyonce and Jay-Z standing by while Jackson and Sharpton watched on a split screen of the CCTV, Warden Jones turns to McCarthy and says, “Kim, Before I give the word to start the lethal drug flowing, do you have any last words?”

With the chaplain’s hand on her leg, Kimberly McCarthy, raises her head and says, “I am going home to be with Jesus,” then shouts, “Fuck you all!”

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