THE GOLDEN YEARS

Every once in a while it just seems right to change course a little bit. Since my blogs are usually serious, I want to inject a little humor in this one. Having entered the golden years long ago, jokes about seniors have a special meaning to us burn-outs. Here are some from the Florida Retirement Gazette that my good friend Jay Wall sent me. The one about the hearing aid reminded me of when I used to wear mine.

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A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community.

A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'

He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'

'So, where were you all these years?'

'In prison,' he says.

'Why did they put you in prison?'

He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'

'Oh good!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?'

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Two elderly people living in a Port Charlotte Retirement Community, he was a widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big arena in the Clubhouse.

The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?'

After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered 'Yes. Yes, I will!' The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled led. 'Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?'

He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.

First, he explained that he didn't re member as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, 'When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?' He was delighted to hear her say, 'Why I said, yes, yes I will. And I meant it with all my heart'.

Then she continued, 'And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me.'

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A man was telling his neighbor in Sun City Center , 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It only cost me $3,000 dollars, but it's state of the art, and I can hear everything perfectly now.'

'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'

'Ten minutes to six.'

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Morris, an 82 year-old man in Miami , went to the doctor at the local Medical Clinic to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'

'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma' and 'be cheerful,' Morris replied.

To which the doctor said, 'I didn't say that, Morris. I said, you've got a heart murmur, be careful!'

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A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream parlor in Leesburg, and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'

'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids.'