Pat Condell is a British stand-up comic. He is an outspoken atheist who has slammed every religion in his comic routines. He has made a number of controversial video monologues. Condell has received a number of threats on his life for his monologues on Islam. His video monologue on The Trouble With Islam got him condemned by the crackpot City of Berkeley (California). Here is the transcript of that monologue:
Hi, I’d like to say a few things about Islam, "if I may." Now here in the U.K. religion was always pretty dormant until Muslims came along and started burning books and passing death sentences and generally demanding special treatment for no good reason. But they’ve showed everybody else what can be achieved by bullying and intimidation so now every crackpot in the country feels entitled to respect for their precious beliefs.
Beliefs often lifted whole sale from the ramblings of some ancient desert nomad with a psychological disorder. It does seem quite ironic to me the very people who clearly have made no attempt to think for themselves are always the most vocal for demanding respect for their "ideas". But some Muslims go further than this and claim they are being victimized in British society, but I don’t really believe that’s true. I do think a lot of people are getting fed up with hearing about Muslims all the time, and they wish Muslims would just shut up and get on with their lives instead of constantly belly aching about nothing, but that’s not the same as being victimized.
But because we live in a Liberal Democracy and therefore have certain double-standards to maintain, any criticism of Islam or of Muslims always draws the immediate accusation of Islamophobia. A dishonest word which seeks to portray legitimate comment as some kind of hate crime. When the truth is, Islam has a chip on it’s shoulder the size of a Mosque, and it looks to take offense at every opportunity. Some Muslims, it seems, are almost permanently offended about something, and yet you never hear a peep out of any of these people when some young Muslim girl is murdered for bringing dishonor among her insane family, suddenly everyone’s looking at the floor then.
They keep telling us that Islam is a religion of peace, but all the evidence points to a religion of war. Its holy book urges Muslims to conquer the world and subjugate everyone to the rule of God. If Islam had it’s way, elections would become a thing of the past and the rest of us would be living in the past for the foreseeable future. And some people are very keen to bring this situation about, especially the loud mouth rubble rousing Islamic clerics who we always hear praising the suicide bombers as "glorious" martyrs.
And yet curiously, you never hear about any of these enthusiasts blowing themselves up for the glory of God, they’re always keen to delegate that particular honor, despite the guarantee of all those luscious virgins waiting for them in Heaven, these guys are so selfless that they can always find somebody more deserving. Now of course the whole 72 virgins scenario has become something of a comedy staple and with good reason. But it does have one serious problem and that is the virgins are likely to be good wholesome Islamic virgins, because there won’t be any infidel riff raff in Heaven. So, presumably they’ll have brothers and cousins and uncles who are all determined to defend their honor by killing anyone who makes eye contact with them. They haven’t really thought this whole thing through, it seems to me.
Also, I think Muslim woman in Britain who cover their faces are mentally ill. Now, I realize that in some parts of the world women actually don’t have any choice in this matter, governed as they are by primitive pigs whose only achievement in life is to be born with a penis in one hand and a Koran in the other. But it just seems to me that if God had intended you to cover your face then , in his wisdom he would have provided you with a flap of skin for the purpose. Of course, if it gave you any sexual pleasure , it would have to be removed, that goes without saying.
But I don’t want to be too hard on Islam here for two reasons, firstly, because I don’t want to be murdered by some hysterical self-righteous carpet chewing, book burning Muppet with *shit for brains. And secondly, I do think we need to make allowances for Islam, because we have to remember Islam is quite a young religion.
So, maybe right now it’s just going through a difficult age, a little headstrong, full of itself, thinks it knows all the answers, but I’m sure it’ll learn. I think years from now , a lot of intelligent Muslims will be looking back on all this Medievalism and Jihad nonsense with embarrassment and shame, like the Germans do with the Nazi’s, and maybe then we can all have a good laugh about it, but in the mean time I think that any religion that demands earthly vengeance and retribution for any reason is not really a religion at all, but an illness and should be treated as such.
"Peace" and I mean that most sincerely.
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