Friday, September 27, 2013

FIRST A MURDERER, THEN A ROBBER, NOW A COOKIE THIEF

O.J. Simpson, the once highly-touted media-headliner, has really gone downhill

First the former football-great slashes his ex-wife Nicole and her friend Ron Goldman to death. Then he robs some memorabilia dealers in a Las Vegas casino-hotel, a crime for which he is serving a 33-year prison term. And now the 66-year-old diabetic tub of lard has been caught pilfering oatmeal cookies from his Nevada prison cafeteria.

According to The Daily Mail, Simpson's prison guards recently observed him hiding something under his shirt as he was leaving the prison cafeteria at lunchtime. When they questioned him, he gave up more than a dozen oatmeal cookies. Instead of writing him up for stealing the cookies, the correctional officers let him off with a warning. The cookies, of course, were seized.

Prison doctors have warned him to cut out high-fat and sugary foods, but according to O.J., eating oatmeal cookies and other sugary snacks is the only enjoyment he has left.

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