Wednesday, September 19, 2012


Arguments inside Houston bars often lead to shootouts in the parking lots

You can’t say that Houston is not an exciting city.

By Craig Hlavaty

Houston Press Hair Balls
September 18, 2012

If Houston's 2012 track record is any indication, the most dangerous places in the Bayou City seem to be our roadways and nightclub parking lots. Hardly a week goes by without an argument turning into some sort of drunken shootout or brawl leaving somebody or some bodies dead on
the ground.

Even local rapper Trae Tha Truth and his friends weren't immune to the violence back in late June. He was just injured while three others weren't so lucky inside the Diamond Club parking lot off Westpark Drive.

Normally parking lots are boring places, at least when pedophiles aren't popping boners in them, school teachers aren't making out with their underage students inside Jettas, or soccer moms aren't backing into your car with their gargantuan Suburbans.

Most of us expend so much of our energy trying to get out of a parking lot at closing time that the concept of sticking around long enough to get into a dust-up, let alone one that ends in gun-play, sounds ridiculous.

Just yesterday we reported on a shooting at Bronco's Nightclub off Veteran's Memorial. A security guard was a part of the shooting which left one dead and four patrons wounded. Of course this all happened at 6 a.m. Sunday morning.

Just two weeks ago we also reported on 29-year-old being gunned down in the parking lot at El Mundo Nightclub off Long Point. Most of these things happen within an hour of last call, when tempers are usually flaring, and arguments over women and bruised egos reach a boiling point.

That same weekend three men died outside Club ICU, where a fight between two groups led to gunfire, and there were reports of at least one shooter firing wildly into the air and into the crowd.

All these shootings happen outside bars and clubs were these things are sadly accepted as reality. When Washington Avenue was the hot shit in town there were always brawls and guys with trust and anger issues fighting over their perceived vaginal territory, but those shoving matches rarely ended with someone dead.

Plenty of douchebags, but no body bags.

Oh, then there was this incident outside of popular breastraunt Twin Peak off Kirby a few days ago. Of it happened "around 1:50 a.m." if you were asking.

What's the solution for all of this tragedy? Gun control, booze control, some sort of cartoonish laughing gas mechanism in each bar to soothe angry and scorned hearts?

How about these ideas?

5. You could always leave the bar whenever things start getting weird or aggressive. Imagine that! Go home and watch late-night TV in your underwear like normal people do. You don't have to die on a Saturday night like a country song, and maybe that show about Nazis drinking baby blood will be on.

4. Go to the nearest taqueria, Waffle House, Denny's, or IHOP and cool your nerves with coffee, butter, and some sort of congealed meat stuff, instead of hanging around the parking lot kicking rocks and asking for trouble.

3. Select your drinking company wisely: Some people shouldn't drink, just as some people shouldn't own firearms, knives, or anything with a pointy edge for that matter.

2. Drink at home! It's usually cheaper than sucking down flat soda and watered-down liquor, and you probably won't get shot while walking to the bathroom to take a leak.

1. And finally, not to sound emo or gooey, but there are plenty of fish in the proverbial sea. Just because she or even he declined your advances tonight at the bar, that isn't grounds to shoot someone. Your hand, YouPorn, and a breakfast taco from Whataburger can suffice. Maybe even all at the same time if you really wanna live la vida loca.

No comments: