THE NEWS IN ZINGERS

By Argus Hamilton

Jewish World Review
September 21, 2012

Obama couldn't answer a question about the national debt Tuesday. China lends us the money, which is given to government dependents, who spend it at Wal-Mart, which buys everything from China. The money circles so fast that last week it formed a tornado that blew the hair off the roof of the William Shatner Theater in Phoenix.
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France closed twenty of its embassies across the Muslim world Friday after a French comic magazine ran a cartoon of the Prophet Mohammed. That's not all. In addition, the French security service raised the nation's terror alert level from collaborate to surrender.
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A Pakistani man died inhaling the smoke of the U.S. flag he was burning in Islamabad Monday. They can't win. If they inhale the polyester flags made in China they die, and if they inhale the hemp flags from Kentucky they can't remember what they're protesting.
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NFL defensive players praised the replacement refs Friday, saying they don't whistle every little infraction. The defenders say they allow the players to play the game. One player was killed after being tackled last week when the referee gave him a thumbs-down.
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Justice Department officials resigned over the failure of Operation Fast and Furious Tuesday. They sold Mexican drug dealers guns equipped with GPS to try to track them. Just our luck, the GPS only served to tell the shooter when there was a drug agent on the next block.
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The GOP released old video Tuesday of President Obama admitting he was in favor of wealth redistribution, in response to the Democrats releasing old video of Romney admitting he was a capitalist. This is nothing. Forty years from now, presidential candidates will have partied with Prince Harry and there will be cell-phone video of that.