OLD TIMERS BAR

The Unconventional Gazette
May 18, 2013

Four old retired men are walking down a street. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents." They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?"

There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini.

In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis shaken, not stirred and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please."

The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.

Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying, "That's 40 cents, please."

They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them. They've each had two martinis and haven't even spent a dollar yet. Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"

"I'm a retired Marine Corps drill sergeant" the bartender says, "and I always wanted to own a bar, but I couldn’t afford to buy one on my military pension. Then, last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer it's all the same."

"Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says.

As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there. Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the Bartender, "What's with them?"

The bartender says, "They're old homeless people. They're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price, plus they all have coupons. And you know what ... with each coupon, I end up having to give them a dime when they buy a drink during Happy Hour."