I'M CALLING ON BEHALF OF - - - -

Like many others, I make contributions to a number of charities. I give what I think I can afford, once a year, except for some emergencies, such as the Katrina disaster, when I made additional contributions to the Red Cross and the Salvation Army. Since I do not earn enough to itemize deductions, my contributions are not intended lower my income taxe payments. I chose organizations that do work in areas of special interest to me.

Since charitable organizations are exempt from the fedetral and state "no call" lists, every week I get a number of telephone solicitations that start out with, "Mr. - - -, I'm calling on behalf of - - - - -." These telemarketing calls are a real nuisance, especially since they are usually made while I am occupied with something that requires my complete attention. My response is a truthful one - "We do not accept solicitations over the phone."

Most of these solicitations are from professional fund raisers who, by contract, may retain up to 50% or more of what they raise by these calls. Some are outright scams. The most notorious scams are from telephone solicitors purporting to represent the rank and file officers of local, state or federal police agencies. These scam artists will usually resort to an intimidating tone once you start to turn them down.

What really frosts me is that I get calls or written solicitations from charities which are already the recipients of my annual contributions. Many years ago, I started out giving $100 each year to the Special Olympics. Ever since, I have been getting mailings from that charity at the rate of about once a month. I got so aggravated by these frequent mail solicitations that I reduced my contributions, first to $50, then eventually to $25. The only reason I am still donating to Special Olympics is because it is a worthy cause.

For 35 years, I was a member of a Zoo, paying $100 anually for my membership. From time to time during those years, I gave additional money to the zoo's "Adopt an Animal" program. When the zoo was raising money to construct a new primate section, I made a substantial contribution to that project. For eight years, I worked as a volunteer in the primate section. Three days a week I cleaned cages and habitats. I became a real expert in one area - just call me a Professor of Primate Poop.

One evening a couple of years ago, I received a telephone call which really ticked me off. "Mr. - - -, this is Judy from the zoo." I knew there was no Judy on the staff and I found out the zoo had hired a professional fund raiser. After donating nearly $5,000 to the zoo, I get hustled by a deceptive out-of-state telemarketer - no thanks. You can bet that her true name is not even "Judy." That, together with the cavalier way I was shown the gate when I stopped volunteering, is the reason this zoo will never see another red cent from me. (I quit because, at my age, I no longer felt safe driving the 26 miles between my home and the zoo.)

Another thing that bugs me about charities is that once you start contributing to them, most will include your name, address and phone number on a list of their donors which they sell to other fund raising organizations, a practice which only leads to more of those annoying mailings and telemarketing calls.

Now, when I get a call from a charity to which I am already making annual contributions, this is what I tell them - "Look, I donate to - - - - - once a year what I can afford and I get sick and tired of getting calls from you for more. If you call again, - - - - - will never get another dime from me." Their usual response - "Oh, I'm sorry, we'll put you on our no call list."

There are many worthwhile charities and I intend to keep on giving to those which share my interests, provided they stop hustling me for additional contributions. My suggestion is that you check to see how much of your contribution is applied to fund raising. Anything above 10% is too much. The Smile Train and the Nature Conservancy are two outstanding charities.

The Smile Train, an organization of physicians which performs cleft surgery on little children in third world countries, applies 100% of all contributions to these surgeries and to the training of doctors in those countries. The fund raising costs are borne entirely by the doctors who do the cleft surgeries for The Smile Train.

The Nature Conservancy does not send me annoying mailings. It goes about quietly buying up large tracts of land for nature preserves all over the world, land that is threatened by development. Unlike the Sierra Club and other environmental groups, The Nature Conservancy does not ask anyone to sign petitions, nor does it politicize its cause.