Friday, June 19, 2009

ADULT EDUCATION FOR MEN

SAM HOUSTON INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY
Announces Fall Classes for Men at
THE SHIT ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, September 4, 2009

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO A MAXIMUM OF 12 PARTICIPANTS

STUDENTS CAN CHOOSE UP TO 5 OF THE FOLLOWING COURSES:

How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at7:00 PM.

The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper And The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM , location to be determined

How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at7:00 PM.

How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. [Note: Cerebral Shock Therapy And Full Lobotomy Referrals Available.]
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Note: Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

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