‘BLUE DRESS’ FETCHES $1.3 MILLION AT AUCTION

Donald Trump outbids other Republican billionaires for piece of history

By Ima Schmuck

The Schalotte
June 18, 2012

Monica Lewinsky, who turns 39 next month, has auctioned off her famous blue dress which still contains Bill Clinton’s semen stains and backed up her story that she gave the former president nine blow jobs in the Oval Office between November 1995 and March 1997.

In late July 1998, Lewinsky turned the dress over to Special Prosecutor Kenneth Starr's investigators. An FBI lab analysis of blood samples taken from Clinton on August 3 and on August 17 concluded that Clinton was the source of the semen on the dress "to a reasonable degree of scientific certainty."

The dress was returned to Lewinsky who kept it in a safe-deposit box until last month when she turned it over to Sotheby’s, the prominent auctioneers.

On Friday, Sotheby’s auctioned off the dress. The bidding was furious and quickly approached the $1 million mark. Near the end, Donald Trump battled it out with the Koch brothers before submitting the winning bid of $1.3 million.

Democrat billionaire George Soros dropped out of the bidding after it reached $800,000. “I wanted to burn that Jewish slut’s dress,” Soros said. “But I’ve got other priorities for my money. I want to help President Obama get reelected. I’m supporting J Street in its fight against AIPAC and the Zionists. I’m supporting the SAFE California Act, the proposition to abolish the death penalty. And I’m supporting the legalization of marijuana. Those issues are far more important than some fucking Jewish slut’s dress.”

Sotheby’s reports that this was the highest amount ever bid on a piece of clothing. In 1999, Marilyn Monroe’s ‘Happy Birthday, Mr. President’ dress fetched $1.26 million at Christie’s. That’s the dress Monroe wore in 1952 during a birthday tribute to President John F. Kennedy. She was reported to have bedded both President Kennedy and his brother Robert.

“Monica Lewinsky’s dress represents a piece of American history,” said The Donald. “It’s worth every penny I paid for it. The semen stain which is still preserved on the dress proved that President Clinton lied when he denied that Monica ever sucked his cock in the Oval Office of the White House.” Trump added, “I’m going to put it on permanent display in the lobby of the [New York] Trump International Hotel & Tower for the whole world to see.”

Also on Friday, Bill Clinton gave the commencement address at Redondo Beach [California] High School where his nephew Tyler Clinton was graduating. The former President urged the graduates to take chances. Afterwards, when a reporter asked Clinton what he thought about the auction of Lewinsky’s dress, a visibly angry Hillary Clinton snapped back with, “Listen you bitch, if I wasn’t the Secretary of State, I’d take Bill’s dick and shove it up your fucking nose!” As for taking chances, her husband certainly did that with Lewinsky.

As she approaches her 39th birthday, The Schalotte notes that it seems like only yesterday when Monica was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, putting everything in her mouth.