MEMBERS OF ELECTION SIMULATION STIMULATED BY JEFFREY TOBIN JACKING OFF

New Yorker Suspends Jeffrey Toobin for Masturbating on Zoom Call

 

By Laura Wagner

 

Vice News

October 19, 2020

 

The New Yorker has suspended reporter Jeffrey Toobin for masturbating on a Zoom video chat between members of the New Yorker and WNYC radio last week. Toobin says he did not realize his video was on.

“I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers,” Toobin told Motherboard.

“I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video,” he added.

Two people who were on the call told Motherboard separately that the call was an election simulation featuring many of the New Yorker's biggest stars: Jane Mayer was playing establishment Republicans; Evan Osnos was Joe Biden, Jelani Cobb was establishment Democrats, Masha Gessen played Donald Trump, Andrew Marantz was the far right, Sue Halpern was left wing democrats, Dexter Filkins was the military, and Jeffrey Toobin playing the courts. There were also a handful of other producers on the call from the New Yorker and WNYC. 

Both people, who spoke on the condition of anonymity in order to speak freely, noted that it was unclear how much each individual person on the call saw, but both of the people we spoke to said that they saw Toobin jerking off. The two sources described a juncture in the election simulation when there was a strategy session, and the Democrats and Republicans went into their respective break out rooms for about 10 minutes. At this point, they said, it seemed like Toobin was on a second video call. The sources said that when the groups returned from their break out rooms, Toobin lowered the camera. The people on the call said they could see Toobin touching his penis. Toobin then left the call. Moments later, he called back in, seemingly unaware of what his colleagues had been able to see, and the simulation continued.

New Yorker spokesperson Natalie Raabe said: “Jeffrey Toobin has been suspended while we investigate the matter.”

Toobin’s Conde Nast email has been disabled and he has not tweeted since October 13. He did, however, appear on CNN, where he is the network’s chief legal analyst, on Saturday. “Jeff Toobin has asked for some time off while he deals with a personal issue, which we have granted,” CNN said in a statement.

Doubleday, an imprint of Random House, which published Toobin’s latest book did not respond to emails. Neither did Toobin’s literary agent Kristine Dahl nor Greater Talent Network, which represents Toobin. WNYC did not respond to a request for comment.

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THE PERILS OF CHOKING YOUR CHICKEN ON A ZOOM CALL

 

by Bob Walsh

Jeffrey Toobin was the Chief Legal Counsel for CNN and a well-respected writer for the New Yorker.  Until yesterday.  Yesterday he was on a Zoom called with some people from the New Yorker and some people from WNYC New York when he THOUGHT there was as break in the call and THOUGHT he had muted his end both video and audio.  He decided to do a little creative weenie waving during the break.  Unfortunately for him he had not disconnected as fully as he thought he had.

He is now on suspension and / or leave from both CNN and the New Yorker.  He has issued an apology to pretty much everybody on the planet for the "accident."

I have heard of people wearing a coat and tie above their tightey-whiteys on Zoom, but you have to have a serious pair to yank your crank while talking with your bosses and major clients. Of course now the people involved KNOW whether or not he has a serious pair.