The Unconventional Gazette
August 2, 2013
Russ and Fred, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
One day Russ didn't show up. Fred didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something...But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Fred really got worried.
However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Fred didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.
A month had passed, and Fred figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, Fred approached the park and--lo and behold!--there sat Russ! Fred was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.
Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you?'
Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.'
'Jail!' cried Fred. What in the world for?'
'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?'
'Yeah,' said Fred, 'I remember her. What about her?’
'Well, the little gold-digging bitch figured I was rich and she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'.
'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.’
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