STATE OF THE STATE ADDRESS

By Bob Walsh

 

 

I have managed to get ahold of a rough text for Governor Newsom's State of the State address tomorrow.  Salient points are shown below.

1.  California has the seventh largest economy on the planet.

2.  This is due 100% to the fact that I have been in charge for seven years.

3.  The sun rises out of my ass every morning.  If it weren't for me the planet would exist in perpetual darkness.

4.  Illegal aliens are wonderful and should be supported by taxpayers.

5.  Criminals are wonderful.  They should be out on the street and not in prison.

6.  Criminal illegal aliens are doubly wonderful.

7.  Donald Trump is an evil, rotten bastard and should be opposed by every real American, whether they are actually Americans or not.

8.  The state will continue to spend huge amounts of money to support illegal aliens and oppose Donald Trump every chance we get.

9.  Guns are evil.

10.  People who own guns are evil, and stupid.

11.  Gasoline is evil.

12.  People who consume gasoline are evil and stupid.

13.  I am smarter than you are and you should shut the fuck up and do what I tell you.