For all you grownup kids, Hair Balls has Richard Connelly’s good advise on how to get drunk at a Halloween party without ending up embarrassed.
DRUNK HALLOWEEN PARTIES: FIVE WAYS TO AVOID HUMILIATION
By Richard Connelly
Houston Press Hair Balls
October 29, 2010
Halloween is especially dangerous this year -- it's on a Sunday, and so that means it's perfectly reasonable to have parties not only on Friday, but on Saturday too.
And that means double the chances of getting drunk and doing something you'll regret very much in the days to come.
How best to avoid drunken embarrassment? Well, you could stay sober, but there's really no way to do that at a costume party, or you will start asking yourself uncomfortable questions about why you're dressed as you are.
Instead, take these five tips to heart:
5. THAT’S NOT REALLY CATWOMAN; ON MONDAY SHE WILL BE JANE FROM ACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE
Yeah, yeah, a masked woman wielding a whip, tipsy on some appletinis, and you've had a few drinks yourself. This is not the time to bring up any long-hidden fantasies you may have been harboring involve leather and spanking. It will just make for a very, very awkward Monday staff meeting.
4. DON’T WEAR A COSTUME THAT INVOLVES AN ENGINEERING DEGREE TO TAKE A PISS
It may look great, but dude, remember this: You're not a woman, therefore you are not adept at dealing with complicated pieces of clothing while desperately needing to take a leak. No one-piece anything. Get a zipper, give yourself plenty of time.or go dressed as a baby, wearing adult diapers.
3. DO NOT GO DRESSED AS A BABY, WEARING ADULT DIAPERS
No one wants to see that, take our word for it.
2. JUST BECAUSE HE’S DRESSED LIKE JACK SPARROW, IT WON’T BE LIKE SLEEPING WITH JOHNNY DEPP
Especially if you wake up next to him in the morning.
1. NO FOUR LOKO
Come on, you've been warned.
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