Two candidates for both DUMB MEXICAN OF THE MONTH and DUMB CRIMINAL OF THE MONTH. They’ve each got my vote for both honors.
LINDA ROSALES AND JESSICA ROSALES: FAIL IN SCHEME TO USE KID’S BREATH TO FOOL BREATHALYZER
By John Nova Lomax
Houston Press Hair Balls
October 20, 2010
We've all been there before: we've driven to a party and gotten shit-faced. And then we've been faced with a dilemma: How best to get you and all your kids home?
It's especially hard when the damn law has ordered that your car be fitted with an Interlock device. Those built-in Breathalyzers are sensitive. You can't even drive after two beers, much less the boatload you took on.
You could give up and call a cab, or ask a sober friend to give you a lift, but if you did that you wouldn't be as enterprising as Rio Grande Valley women Jessica Rosales, 28, and Linda Rosales, 31, two people who truly fail to grasp the concept of the designated driver...
No, if you're mom of the year timber like Jessica Rosales, you look to the back seat, and get one of your kids back there to blow in the Interlock for you, and awa-aaay you go.
A witness called cops to complain of a suspicious vehicle in front of his house. Police arrived to find the two women -- described in the arrest report as having "lost all use of their mental and physical faculties" and "a danger to themselves and others" -- attempting to coax a sober, ignition-giving exhalation from one of the five kids in the car. Brilliant!
In addition to the children -- a two-week-old baby, two 10-year-olds, a 4-year-old and a 5-year-old -- police also found open containers of alcohol.
Why not? Hell, if Junior's gonna blow your Interlock for you, you might as well have one more for the road. It's just a shame his little feet can't reach the pedals too. (What relation, if any, the Rosales women are to each other was not released.)
Both of the women are charged with child endangerment and public intoxication, and they remain in Cameron County jail. In addition to a conviction for felony theft, court records show that Linda Rosales has a criminal history that includes state jail felony theft and three arrests for DWI, while Jessica Rosales is amid a six-year probationary sentence for a December 2007 DWI. Bail is set at a cool $50,000 for each of the women.
Child endangerment, if determined to be of the second degree felony variety, is punishable by up to 20 years in prison. Maybe a cab wouldn't have been a bad idea after all...
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