NOT ALL FIGHTING IS BAD

By Greg ‘The Gadfly’ Doyle

PACOVILLA Corrections blog
October 7, 2012

When I was seven years old, my family moved into the first house my parents ever owned. It was in a housing tract in Riverside, California, not far from the new elementary school my brother, Jeff, and I would attend. And right next door lived a boy my age named Chris. His parents were middle-aged and had much older children in high school and college. Chris was rather spoiled and quite a mischief. His mother always excused his bad behavior. Jeff and I went through cycles of friendship and sanction with Chris. He was stronger and faster than both of us and ended up beating me up on more than one occasion. Chris seemed to enjoy inflicting pain on others, which is a general trait of a bully.

By the time I entered junior high school, the boy next door had mercilessly antagonized our family by setting fire to objects and throwing them into our backyard, or dumping trash in the same manner, or taunting Jeff and me openly. No matter how often my parents spoke to his mother about his bad behavior, Chris continued his reign of terror. My parents forbade us to pay attention to Chris in hopes he would get tired and leave us alone, but that only made him more mischievous and calculating. On more than one occasion, Chris would stand in his driveway and taunt Jeff and me as we played in our yard. I remember being ambushed a few times when he managed to lure me close enough to the property line to throttle me. No matter how nice, patient, or cautious we attempted to be with Chris, he just kept on finding new ways to torment our family.

After standing up to Chris a number of times and being beaten badly, I was reluctant to face him again. But I had finally had enough and bested him one day. And I had remembered the principle my father taught me about facing down a bully: Aim for the head, knock him down, and accept nothing less than unconditional surrender. Make him regret he ever bullied you. On the day I stood up for the last time to Chris, it was a knock-down, drag-out fight down the street from our house. We both were down on the ground, fists flying face-to-face. My nose was bloodied, but so was his. My shirt was torn, but so was his. And I gave it all I had until he cried for mercy. Then I told him in no uncertain terms that I would beat him senseless the next time he bothered my brother, my family, or me again. He took me at my word because I had demonstrated the only thing he understood—strength and determination. And Chris treated me with respect after that and never taunted or mistreated us again.

My childhood sufferings and triumph remind me that not all fighting is bad. Standing up to a bully is a risky and painful exercise. But what is the alternative? Humiliation, oppression, and a constant state of fear. I believe we are experiencing a greater bullying problem in the United States because our school system has generally forbidden children to defend themselves, which encourages rule-breakers and bullies to press their advantage and oppress weaker kids. I saw it happen when I worked the school campuses as a police officer and I later handled juvenile petitions as a detective. In my estimation, it is wrongheaded to suspend a student clearly defending himself from an attacker. It can turn young boys into angry, conflicted, effeminate men.

I know there are pacifists in every segment of our society. Pacifism only truly works when everyone agrees to get along. But that is not what the historical record of human behavior reflects. Bullies abound where weakness and submission are welcome in the name of tolerance and appeasement. Bullies flourish and maintain an upper hand when we accept their strong-arm tactics and refuse to face and fight them back.

As an American citizen, I have listened to those among us who have suggested that America is the biggest bully in the world because of its influence, foreign policies, and military might. Was America a bully when we stood up to Hitler and Hirohito in World War II? How about when we stepped in to help the South Koreans, the South Viet Namese, the Kuwaitis, or stood up to the terrorists after 9-11? Are we supposed to stand idly by and watch communism, or Jihadism, or terrorism oppress our allies as well as our own citizens? War is ugly and always unpopular. But sometimes the fight is unavoidable and necessary; not all fighting is bad.

I do not doubt that some in Christian circles will object to my assertion. What about Jesus? Didn’t he say to turn the other cheek? Yes, he did. Yet he also confirmed with Peter and the other disciples that they would need to purchase and carry swords (Luke 22:36-38) once Jesus went to the cross and was no longer there to protect and provide for them. So then, it would appear not to be a contradiction, but rather a clear distinction. When a believer is being persecuted because of belief in God, turn the other cheek and stand your ground in faith. But if you are being attacked (for example, by robbers) be prepared to physically defend yourself. Otherwise, you will be unable to stand your ground at all.

As we now witness around the world, not all fighting is bad. Sadam Hussein was a bested bully. So was Osama bin Laden. They can no longer bully, terrorize, or oppress anyone again. All the endless discussion, all the United Nations resolutions, all the sanctions, all the appeasement and placating in the world could not convince these bullies to stop their bullying. It took a fight to stop them. What will it take to stop Iran from building an atomic bomb? More talk and appeasement?

The bested bully may eventually become an ally. Japan and Germany are now counted among our allies after America stood up and painfully bested them. But that was not what we thought or saw in the midst of that terrible war in 1942. Imagine what the world would look like if Nazism and Imperialism had won the day? I dread to think about it.

Bullies only respect strength and determination. Any sign of weakness is a license for a bully to pick on the weak. I, for one, am tired of the perception in other parts of the world that America is weak and appeasing. The Middle East is in conflagration, in part, because of the perception that America has given up on Israel and its war on terror. That perception of American weakness rests squarely on the shoulders of the current administration. I have prayed for hope and change, but it has not happened under the present leadership.

May God have mercy on us all on November 6, 2012.

Choose wisely.