JESUS FLOODS GODLESS POLICE STATION

That’s a naked Jesus Lopez, not Our Lord and Savior

Baytown, a city of 73,000, is located at the mouth of the San Jacinto River on Galveston Bay, just east of Houston. It is home to one of Exxon-Mobil’s largest refineries and there are many other refineries in the area. With all those beer guzzling refinery workers living there, Baytown needed someone to cleanse it of sin. Meet Jesus Lopez.

On Friday night, 21-year-old Jesus Lopez climbed up an awning at the back of a Baytown police substation, broke in through a second floor window and made his way to the ground floor. The station is open only during the daytime. With all the doors to the outside locked, he found himself trapped in the building. Desperate to get out and trying to get back up to where he broke in, he knocked a big hole in the ceiling, breaking a water pipe in the process. Eleven hours later, when an officer showed up for work Saturday morning, the water was still flowing out of the broken pipe. The officer found a naked Jesus standing inside the station where ‘it looked like a storm rolled through’ the building. He was arrested without any problem and toxicology tests were negative for any alcohol or drugs in his system.

The city estimates the damage Jesus caused amounted to $40,000. Because he did not intend to cause the damage, police charged him only with misdemeanor criminal trespass. Jesus was hospitalized for a psychiatric evaluation.

Why did Jesus break into that police station? Baytown Police Chief D.W. Alford told KHOU, “The building needed God. So he began praying, and when he came to, he was already inside with all of the damage.”