HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

The Unconventional Gazette
March 16, 2014

From the Contemporary English Version of the Bible:

God went to the Arabs and said, 'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.'

The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'

And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.'

'Can you give us an example?'

'You shall not kill.'

'Not kill? We're not interested..'

Then he went to the Vikings and said, ‘I have commandments.’

The Vikings asked for an example and God said, ‘You shall not covet your neighbor’s ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.’

‘Not covet the property of our neighbors? You must be joking. We’re not interested.’

So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, 'Honor your Father and your Mother.'

'Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested.'

Then He went to the Gypsies and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The Gypsies also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'You shall not steal.'

'Not steal? We're not interested.'

Then He went to the French and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'You shall not commit adultery.'

'Sacre bleu!!! Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'

Finally, God went to the Jews and said, 'I have Commandments.'

'Commandments?' they said, 'How much are they?'

'They're free.'

'We'll take 10.'