ORGASMAXIMAL

Schweinehund Laboratorien, a prominent German pharmaceutical company based in Schweinfurt, has announced a remarkable anti-impotence breakthrough with the introduction of its latest drug, ORGASMAXIMAL.

After exhaustive research, Schweinehund has taken the active ingredients in six drugs - Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, ExtenZe, Enzyte and Maxoderm - and successfully combined them into one drug, ORGASMAXIMAL, which remedies erectile dysfunction, results in substantial penile enlargement, and prolongs performance for hours at a time.

Schweinehund boasted that "with ORGASMAXIMAL your fraulein will experience multiple orgasms and shout ‘ach du lieber’ ecstatically over and over again until she can no longer carry on."

Chancellor Angela Merkel proclaimed that "ORGASMAXIMAL is just one more example of Germany's extraordinary ingenuity" and has nominated Schweinehund Laboratorien for the Nobel prize in Medicine. After a special flight to Schweinfurt, President Nicolas Sarkozy and his wife, a beaming Carla Bruni, bestowed France's highest civilian award, the Legion d'Honneur, on Herr Doktor Wolfgang von Schweinehund, the founder and director of Schweinehund Laboratorien.

ORGASMAXIMAL was subjected to extensive clinical testing, first on rhesus monkeys, and then on men with erectile dysfunction. Ten male rhesus monkeys were each isolated togther with 10 females. In each case, the males were able to service every female, one immediately after another, until every female was completely exhausted.

After Schweinehund was satisfied with its clinical trials on the rhesus monkeys, it recruited 100 German men with erectile dysfunction and 100 prostitutes from Amsterdam. Each man was paired off with a prostitute. 50 men were given Viagra and the other 50 were given ORGASMAXIMAL. Penile sizes were recorded. The men with Viagra performed satisfactorily. The men with ORGASMAXIMAL performed until their partners were completely exhausted. No notable side effects were observed.

After a 30-day break, the couples were brought back together again and this time the application of Viagra and ORGASMAXIMAL was reversed. New penile measurements demonstrated that ORGASMAXIMAL resulted in a remarkable enlargement in every case. As in the earlier testing, the men with ORGASMAXIMAL completely exhausted their partners after hours of continuous coitus. Again, no notable side effects were observed.

Urologists are dismayed because Schweinehund claims that ORGASMAXIMAL eliminates any need for those costly penile implant surgeries.

Schweinehund Laboratorien issued the following ORGASMAXIMAL warnings:

Discuss your general health condition with your doctor to ensure that you are healthy enough to engage in hours of continuous sexual activity. Prolonged coitus may put an extra strain on your heart, especially if you have heart problems. ORGASMAXIMAL should not be used in men for whom sexual activity is inadvisable due to an underlying cardiovascular condition.

Make sure that your fraulein is healthy enough to engage in hours of continuous coitus.

Before using this medication, tell your doctor or pharmacist your medical history, especially of penis conditions (e.g., angulation, fibrosis/scarring).

Patients who have an erection lasting LESS than 8 hours should seek immediate medical attention as this may be an indication of a near-death condition.

For further information contact Schweinehund Laboratorien at http://www.orgasmaximal.com/ or call 1-888-MAXIMAL.


JUST KIDDING, OF COURSE!!!