STIMULATING THE ECONOMY

Here is some useful information on where your hard-earned dollars go when you spend them to stimulate the economy:

1. If you spend them at Wal-Mart, your dollars will go to China.

2. If you spend them on gasoline, your dollars will go to Saudi Arabia.

3. If you purchase a computer, they will go to India for technical support you can't understand.

4. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, they will go to Mexico, Honduras, Guatemala or Chile.

5. If you buy a car, they will go to Japan, Korea or Germany.

6. If you purchase useless plastic stuff, they will go to Taiwan.

7. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, they will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in secret offshore bank accounts.

But you can keep the money in America by:

1. Spending it at yard sales or flea markets.

2. Going to baseball or football games.

3. Having sex with prostitutes.

4. Buying cheap beer.

5. Getting tattoos.

These are the only wholly-American-owned businesses that have not done any outsourcing to Asia or Latin America.

Thus, the best way to make sure that your hard earned dollars stay in the USA is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you picked up at a flea market and drink cheap beer all day until you're drunk enough to go and get tattooed.