BUNDLE OR BUNGLE?

I have both my phone and internet service with AT&T. Almost every day I get snail-mail or e-mails from AT&T trying to get me to sign up for their U-verse phone, internet and TV bundle. I also get snail-mail from Comcast soliciting me for their bundle. They all offer a low monthly introductory charge for x-number of months, but that is only for basic TV programming. Sometimes they throw in premium channels like HBO and Showtime free for three months. But when those introductory periods expire, the monthly charges take a huge leap upwards.

COMBINING TV, INTERNET AND PHONE WAS A MISTAKE
By Ken Hoffman

Houston Chronicle
September 6,2011

You know those TV commercials where the cable companies want us to buy cable TV, Internet and phone service for one low price?

Is that called bundling … or bungling?

Saturday night, all three went out. The flashing green lights on my modem dimmed, replaced by one red light where the box said "service."

This happened right as I was settling in front of the TV to watch Novak Djokovic, the world's No. 1 tennis player, take the court at the U.S. Open. In a blink - no TV.

As John McEnroe would scream … you cannot be serious!

The TV screen showed a message saying "Picture is lost" and offered a few suggestions on how to fix the problem. One of them was, "contact us at www.so-and-so.com." I couldn't do that because my Internet was out.

Or I should call them at 1-800-etc. I couldn't do that on my home phone because that was out, too.

Tell me the advantages of bundling TV, Internet and phone again?

My cellphone still worked to make phone calls, but it wouldn't connect to the Internet or let me email. I had to call a friend to look up the cable company's repair hotline.

"We are experiencing higher than normal volume of calls; please stay on the line for the next available representative."

The recorded message should have said, "stay on the line for the next available outsourced job in India." That always ends up bad for me. We're both speaking English, but we're not speaking the same language. I don't talk tech.

While I was on hold for 40 minutes, I kept hearing recorded blurbs from the cable company saying, "We'll change the way you watch TV" and "TV will never be the same." Can't argue with that. Usually I see a picture.

When "Bobby" (yeah, right, your name is Bobby) picked up, he explained that there was an outage in my neighborhood and it would be fixed within an hour. I didn't want to wait on hold again, so I asked him to call me back in an hour to check.

He never called back. Typical man; they never call when they say they will.

It took 40 minutes, but I eventually did talk to a living human being, even though he was 8,000 miles away. Sometimes you get lost in a maze of recorded "If this is your home phone, press 1" messages and there's no escape.

It's easier to just change cable companies. Then you'll get a salesperson who'll promise anything to sign you up.

It's like that old Rodney Dangerfield joke: "I was in a store and wanted to use the restroom. But there was a sign, "Employees Only." I had to go pretty bad, so I applied for a job."

An hour passed, and still no Internet, TV, phone or call from Bobby. I had to write a few emails, so I got on my bike and crossed Buffalo Speedway into the snobby part of town, where my cellphone picked up the Internet. They should have passport control on Buffalo Speedway.

I wrote emails with one hand as I pedaled around. I'm not sure that's even legal. I looked like a burglar casing a neighborhood.

The next day, a service technician came to my house and said a wire was incorrectly attached to my modem and that blew out my connection. So it wasn't a neighborhood outage. But if that's true, how come my cellphone didn't pick up the Internet until I was several blocks from my home?

It doesn't matter. The technician got me up and running, and I'm fully empowered with TV and Internet. I don't know why I have a land-line phone. I never use it.

The night before, as I was riding and emailing, I met a woman walking her dog. I told her about my blackout at home. She said, "That's why we don't bundle the TV, phone and Internet - in case one of them goes out, they all don't go out."

Smart.