PARENTS OF PEPPER SPRAYED STUDENTS SPEAK OUT

By Adolf der Schweinehund

The Schalotte
November 23, 2011

On Monday’s NBC Evening News, Brian Williams was commenting on the ‘outrage’ over the pepper spraying of the UC Davis student protesters by saying, “Just think if that was your kid.”

Utilizing my investigative experiences, I managed to locate some parents of the pepper sprayed students. I asked each of them what they thought of their kid being pepper sprayed.

Alton Jones, Walmart manager: “I was shocked beyond belief. How can this happen in America. My poor little girl had to be treated for severe irritation of her eyes and nasal passages. This is a clear cut case of police brutality. I’ve already contacted a good attorney and we’re going to sue the shit out of UC Davis, the chancellor, the chief of police and the cops who terrorized and injured my daughter.”

George Miller, banker: “I’m outraged, simply outraged. This is America, not Nazi Germany. Where did the university find those storm troopers? My son had to have his eyes washed out at the hospital. All he was doing was to sit down with his fellow students to protest something or another. They weren’t harming anybody. They were passive and peaceful like the media said. I’m going to demand that those cops be arrested and charged with aggravated assault with a dangerous weapon. And I’m going to sue everyone involved, from the university chancellor down to the janitor who cleans the campus police station.”

Samuel Bernstein, UC Riverside sociology professor: “I fully expected this kind of police misconduct. Anytime anyone in this country protests against this rotten capitalist system that oppresses the masses and exploits the workers, the cops come along and do the evil corporations’ bidding. My daughter just called me and told me she is still suffering from the effects of that pepper spray. My poor little darling. This is what she gets for standing up for the 99% that are being oppressed and exploited by the 1%. Those Neanderthal cops came along and violated the rights of a group of passive and peaceful students in their exercise of free speech and free assembly. My fellow faculty members are supporting me by petitioning for the removal of the UC Davis chancellor, the police chief, and the disarming of all UC System campus cops.”

Elizabeth Roth, real estate agent: “I’m absolutely outraged. I could not believe my eyes when I saw that on TV. What is this country coming to when the cops come and break up a peaceful student demonstration for no reason at all? My poor Bernie. He called me and said that his eyes are still burning and he is still having trouble breathing and he is still sick in his stomach. And he told me that when he shouted Heil Hitler, a cop deliberately stomped real hard on his foot and now he can barely walk. My little boy wants me to get a lawyer and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.”

Howard Cates, retired cop, now a corporate security specialist: “As soon as I get ahold of that kid, most likely on Thanksgiving, I’m going to kick his ass. I sure as hell am not helping to pay his way through college to participate in anti-Capitalist protests inspired by Marxist professors. I do not expect him to condemn the very system that enabled me to spend my hard earned money for his education. I expect him to spend his spare time studying for his degree. And I damn sure expect him to obey a police officer’s request to move. I think he brought that pepper spraying on himself and got exactly what he damn well deserved.”

Sheila Washington-Jackson, Democrat member of the California State Assembly: “I’m dumbfounded. To have an atrocity like that perpetrated on one of our college campuses goes beyond outrage. My son Emanuel and his classmates were the victims of naked police brutality. He and his fellow students … several of them were of color, I would add … were only exercising their First Amendment rights. As a black student activist, this is not the first time Emanuel has suffered at the heavy hands of the police. I am calling on my fellow legislators to conduct a full investigation of the UC Davis police atrocity and I am introducing legislation that will prohibit campus cops from carrying any type of weapon.”