DHS, THE GREAT BLOB

By Pamela Putz

The Schalotte
November 7, 2011

WASHINGTON, D.C. – On Sunday’s ABC This Week, a guest panel was discussing the problem Congress was having in bringing down the nation’s debt. Regular panelist George Will referred to the Department of Homeland Security as that “great blob.” In response to Will’s comment, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano held a joint news conference Monday together with FBI Director Robert Mueller, newly appointed Acting ATF director B. Todd Jones and DEA Administrator Michele Leonhart.

Napolitano began the conference by stating that she was personally affronted by the characterization of DHS as a great blob. She said it was well known that national columnist George Will has long been part of a vast right-wing conspiracy.

Napolitano reminded the reporters that DHS was formed to put an end to debilitating rivalries and lack of cooperation between the FBI, DEA, ATF, and other federal law enforcement agencies. The Homeland Security Secretary stated that she was proud of her agency’s accomplishments and pointed out that all the different law enforcement agencies were now getting along well together and cooperating with each other.

When this reporter suggested that Napolitano shoulder some of the blame for Operation Fast and Furious and the resulting death of an ICE agent and the deaths of more than 200 Mexicans, she bristled and shot back, “Now wait a minute there young lady! I had nothing to do with that rogue operation. That was strictly the ATF’s doing!”

At this point, an angry Todd Jones interrupted, “I beg your pardon Madam Secretary, but Operation Fast and Furious was coordinated with the FBI and the DEA. I do not think it serves law enforcement well to put all the blame on ATF. Madam, you wanted cooperation and you got it!”

Director Mueller jumped in, “Wait a minute, wait a minute! Don’t get us involved in your idiotic rogue operation. As far as I know, the FBI was unaware of ATF and DEA’s stupidity.”

Michele Leonhart interjected, “Hey you guys, just leave the DEA out of this. We had nothing to do with Operation Fast and Furious and didn’t even know about it. I’m sorry Robert, but it’s my understanding that the FBI was definitely in on it.”

“Now look here little lady,” Mueller started to say. But before he could go any further, Leonhart got in his face and told him, “Don’t you little lady me mister!”

At this point, the proceeding deteriorated into a shouting match between Napolitano, Mueller, Jones and Leonhart. Attorney General Eric Holder entered the room and announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, this news conference is over.”