Abe Goldstein, an elderly Scottish Jew, decides he can make better use of his leisure time by taking up golf. So he applies for membership at the local golf club. After a week he receives a message that his application has been rejected. So he goes down to the club to inquire why.
Club secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club?
Abe: Aye, but I am as Scottish as you are, MacTavish.
Secretary: This means that on formal occasions we wear the kilt.
Abe: Aye, so do I.
Secretary: You are aware that we wear nothing under the kilt?
Abe: Aye, neither do I.
Secretary: But you are a Jew?
Abe: Aye, that I be.
Secretary: So you are circumcised?
Abe: Aye, I be that too.
Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable with that.
Abe: Ach, away with ya, man. I know that you have to be a Protestant to march with the Orangemen. And I know that you have to be a Catholic to join the Knights of Columbus. But this is the first time I’ve heard that you have to be a total prick to join a golf club.
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