Scheme to buy TV set for two bucks didn’t pan out for this clever-by-a-half thief.
THINGS WALMART FROWNS ON: TRYING TO PAY $2 FOR A $228 TV
By John Nova Lomax
Houston Press Hair Balls
November 5, 2012
Fans of the old BBC comedy Blackadder will remember Blackadder's humorously idiotic servant Baldrick and his evermore ridiculous "cunning plans."
Baldrick's spirit lives on in an Abilene Walmart, where on Friday 52-year-old William Keltner had a "cunning plan" of his own.
According to KTXS, Keltner's alleged plan was as follows.
1. Take a TV worth $228 and put it in a cart.
2. Take off the TV's real barcode and replace it with one valued at $1.17 and take it through a self-checkout line.
3. ????
4. Profit!
(Okay, we're mixing our comedies here. Sorry.)
Alas, poor Keltner was foiled by Walmart's loss prevention team, who took him to their office, where he allegedly attempted to hide the low-value price tag to no avail.
After Abilene police arrived and took the grizzled West Texan to jail, Keltner was charged with state-jail felony theft, destruction of evidence, and class A misdemeanor destruction of writing. Thanks to numerous previous theft convictions, his latest charge was enhanced.
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