MAN LISTS WIFE’S ‘NOT TONIGHT DEAR’ EXCUSES

The Unconventional Gazette
July 21, 2014

According to the Daily Mail, an unidentified man listed all the excuses on the internet that his wife gave during the month of June in turning him down for sex. Sound familiar anyone?

I’m watching the show. (Friends rerun)

I feel sweaty and gross. I need a shower (didn’t shower till next morning)

I’m exhausted.

I’m still a bit tender from yesterday.

I’m trying to watch the movie. (fell asleep 15 minutes later)

I’m too drunk.

I ate too much.

I won’t have time to get showered and ready for dinner. (we were 20 minutes early)

I just came back from the gym. I feel gross. (didn’t shower till next morning)

I have to be up early.

You’re too drunk.

I’m not feeling good.

I’m too tired.

I might be getting sick.

I still don’t feel 100 percent.

I’m watching my show. I don’t want to miss anything.