Saturday, May 06, 2017

AT LEAST IT WASN'T A TRIVIAL MURDER

by Bob Walsh

All things considered I am not a huge fan of murder. Some, however, are more understandable than others.

Take, for instance, the death of Kelly Machin, 34. She was allegedly murdered by two neighbors, a father and daughter, because she punctured a football the neighbor's rugrats had kicked into her yard.

This whole mess took place in Waldwick close, Leicester, which I imagine is in the U.K. so it was what we would call a soccer ball and not a football. (You would think those clowns would learn how to speak English, wouldn't you?) Ms. Machin punctured the football that landed in her garden before she returned it, thereby earning the ire of her neighbors.

The disagreement got physical and Miss Machin ended up at the hospital where she was treated and discharged. But it turns out she suffered undiagnosed internal injuries and was found dead on her sofa two weeks later. Authorities determined the cause of death was injuries suffered in the hoorah with the neighbors. (Sounds like the actual cause of death might have been medical malpractice to me.)

William Jelly, 48, and his daughter Natalie Bollen, 28, have since been convicted of manslaughter after a ten-day trial. The moron Jelly was stupid enough to send a text message to a friend where he admitted to beating the woman for bursting the ball, closing it out with LOL (laughing out loud). Dude should have been prosecuted for being a dumb mother-fucker as well. The moron and his daughter will be sentenced next month.

Jelly should be sentenced to get a brain transplant with a goldfish, which would be an improvement for him.

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