CRIKEY … SAM HOUSTON WAS A SLAVEOWNER

Statues of Sam Houston and buildings named after him are offensive and painful to all African-Americans

There are statues of Sam Houston in Houston, Huntsville and probably in other parts of Texas as well. A national forest and state park are named in his honor. A state university bears Houston’ name. And there is hardly a school district in the state that does not have a school building named after him. There is a county named after him. And the fourth largest city in the U.S. is, of course, Houston.

Crikey … Houston was a slaveowner, that’s right, he was a slave owner. Crikey! Down with his statues! Change the names of the university and parks that bear his name! Get Houston’s name off of those school buildings! Change the name of Houston County! And by all means change the name of the city of Houston!!

Although Houston strongly opposed slavery for the North, opposed the secession of Texas from the Union and refused to pledge allegiance to the Confederacy, he was nevertheless a slaveowner. When Sam Houston died in 1863, an inventory of his property included "12 slaves valued at $10,530.20."

Honoring a slaveowner is deeply offensive to African-Americans. Slave ownership is a painful reminder of white supremacy. Crikey, we can’t have that!

One of the statues that should come down is that white behemoth of Houston standing alongside I-45, south of Huntsville. What an eyesore!

Another statue that must go is the one of Sam Houston standing in the city of Houston’s Hermann Park. Either that or never clean any of the pigeon shit off of the statue. Houston covered in and obscured by a humongous pile of pigeon shit would be a fitting tribute to a slave owner.

Here are some suggestions for name changes.

Change the name of the city of Houston to Jordan in honor of Barbara Jordan, a very classy black lady, reasonable civil rights activist and astute politician.

Change the name of Sam Houston State University to Sheila Jackson Lee State University. As a former SHSU faculty member, I think it would be appropriate to name the university after someone who never stops mouthing off.

Change the name of the Houston National Forest to Huey P. Newton National Forest in honor of the co-founder of the original Black Panthers. If Beyonce can pay tribute to that group of thugs, robbers and murderers during her Super Bowl performance, then the government should be able to name a national park after Huey.

Speaking of Beyonce, why not change the name of Sam Houston State Park to Beyonce State Park. They could erect a statue of her at the park entrance in one of her sexually-arousing costumes.

And some of the school buildings bearing Houston’s name should be changed to bear the names of such luminaries as Malcom X and Louis Farrakhan. And any football stadiums named after Houston could be named the O.J. Simpson Stadium.

Now if we can only find places to name after those paragons of virtue, the Reverend Jesse Jackson and the Reverent Al Sharpton. Crikey … Did I really say that?

Because we do not want to cause our black citizens any unnecessary pain, we sould remove all reminders of slavery … and that means Sam Houston must go!