TIME OUT FOR A LITTLE HUMOR

                                                      

                                                     Drinking Beer In Twxas

 

A bearded Arab, a Mexican, and a cute Texas blonde babe were in the same Texas bar last week:

When the Mexican finishes his Dos Equis beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his stolen unregistered pistol from his pocket, and shoots the glass to pieces... He says, 'In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.' 

The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks a glass of O’Douls Amber, a non-alcohol beer (cuz he's a Muslim!), throws the glass into the air, pulls out his concealed AK-47 from under his robe, and shoots the glass to pieces... He says, 'In the Arab World we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'

 The cute Texas blonde picks up her frosty glass of Lone Star beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her Colt 45 from her holster, and shoots both the Mexican dead.

Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says to the Arab, 'Honey, in Texas we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.

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A Proposition

 

A Hasidic gentleman is standing in a hotel lobby about an hour before Sabbath, all dressed up in his finest Sabbath attire.

A magnificent blonde, with legs that go on forever and breasts that fill
her sweater, has just finished checking in and is on her way to the
elevator, when she sees the Chassid.  Stopping dead in her tracks she walks
over to him.

"Hi," she says.

"Hello," he answers.

"I have a confession to make to you."

He nods.

"I have a sexual fantasy."

Again he nods.

"I don't know how to say this, but I've always wanted to be with a Chassidic
man.

"I want to run my hands up and down his white silk stockings and over
his tzitzis, play with his gartel and streimel, run my fingers through
his lustrous beard and fiddle with his payos.  In fact, I want you right now
and I have a room upstairs. Will you join me?"

Looking at her thoughtfully he asks,

"And vot's in it for me?"