YANKEES ARE LIKE HEMORRHOIDS

A Houston police chief once said: YANKEES ARE LIKE HEMORRHOIDS. WHEN THEY COME SOUTH, THEY’RE A PAIN IN THE ASS AND THE PAIN DOESN’T GO AWAY UNTIL THEY HEAD BACK UP NORTH.
　
This Yankee couldn’t stand Houston’s heat, thinks our downtown buildings are full of bottom-feeding lawyers (which they probably are) and believes we’re all a bunch of rubes. Hope the door hit him in the ass on the way out.
　
JOEL ACHENBACH: NOT A FAN OF HOUSTON
By Richard Connelly
　
Houston Press Hair Balls
June 29, 2010
　
Joel Achenbach is the well-respected writer-of-all-things for the Washington Post; he's in Houston, or at least was yesterday.

Color him unimpressed. At least with the weather.

"I keep my car AC cranked, and all internal spaces in Houston are air conditioned to meat-locker levels. But when you step outside you're hit with that furnace-in-the-face feeling. At one point my clothes become so hot I feared they were going through a chemical reaction, some kind of phase change, and might actually convert directly from a solid to a gas. Poof: gone."

Then he gets to the empty downtown.

"The downtown seemed to empty out rather dramatically at 5 sharp. By 7 p.m. I had the whole place to myself, including these tall buildings, the purpose of which I never ascertained. I think they may be full of lawyers trying to figure out who they can sue over this oil spill."

Oh, and we don't know nothing about no book-larnin' here: "I went into a historical library and asked for some books and they looked at me as if I'd ask for live snakes," he writes on his blog.

That could possibly be because the "historical library" is for research and that big, modenr building next to it is for circulating books, but who knows?