Thursday, October 17, 2013

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER OFFENDS AFRICAN-AMERICANS

Civil rights leaders demand name change to ‘Schwarzemacht’ and call for boycott of studios that produced movies featuring the former governor

By Adolf der Schweinehund

The Unconventional Gazette
October 16, 2013

LOS ANGELES -- In a joint press conference, NAACP president Ben Jealous, MSNBC talk show host Al Sharpton and Rainbow PUSH president Jesse Jackson demanded that film star and former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger change his name and called for a boycott of his movies and the studios that produced them until he complies with their demands.

Jealous said that a good number of NAACP members called for the name change in reaction to Sharpton’s MSNBC broadcast in which he told his audience that Schwarzeneeger’s name translated into English spelled ‘Black Nigger.’

“If the name ‘Washington Redskins’ is offensive to Native Americans, then ‘Black Nigger’ is doubly offensive to African Americans,” said Jealous. “We don’t care how long his family has had that name, it is high time for the former governor to set things right by changing his offensive name. We suggest he change his last name to ‘Schwarze’.”

“I was flabbergasted when one of my listeners contacted me and told me what the former governor’s mane actually meant,” said Sharpton. “I can’t think of a more offensive name. Every African-American should be outraged that such a prominent public figure carries such a racially vile name. My suggestion is for him to change his name to “Schwarzemacht’ [Black Power]. I am now calling for all Americans of good will to boycott his movies and the movies of studios that produced them until Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes Arnold Schwarzemacht. I intend to lead demonstrations in Hollywood this weekend to demand the name change.”

Jealous interjected, "Schwarzemacht, I like that even better."

“Al, this is one of your best suggestions ever, I mean the name Schwarzemacht,” said Jackson. “I will be joining you this weekend in Hollywood and I want to assure both you and Ben [Jealous] that operation Rainbow PUSH will call on all of its chapters to demand the name change and to ask all Americans to join in a boycott of the movie studios. The name ‘Black Nigger’ is sickening, demeaning, highly offensive and absolutely unacceptable to African-Americans. The name ‘Washington Redskins’ pales when compared to Schwarzenegger. We are all gratified that you exposed the English meaning and inflammatory nature of his name.”

The Unconventional Gazette contacted Gov. Schwarzenegger, his ex-wife Maria Shriver and White House Press Secretary Jay Carney to get their reaction to the civil rights leaders’ demands.

“You’ve gotta be kidding,” the former governor said. “I’ve got no further comment.”

“I must admit that I was never comfortable with that name, but it never occurred to me that it was an offensive racial slur,” said Shriver. “I would have never married Arnie had I known that. I am instructing my lawyers to immediately petition the court to change the names of our children - Patrick, Katherine, Christopher and Christina - from Schwarzenegger to Shriver.”

“President Obama has authorized me to release the following statement,” said Carney. “If I had a name — even if it had a storied history — that was offending a sizeable group of people, I’d think about changing it. It’s the same suggestion I made to the owner of the Washington Redskins.”

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