‘Or maybe Francis Ford Coppola, John Cassavetes, Tony Curtis, Dustin Hoffman, Quincy Jones, Sydney Pollack, Joe Mantegna, Liam Neeson, Tom Courtenay, Bob Balaban, or even William Hurt,’ suggests actress
The Onion
October 3, 2013
NEW YORK—Following years of speculation regarding the paternity of her 25-year-old son Ronan Farrow, who was born in 1987 during her relationship with Woody Allen, actress Mia Farrow admitted in an interview with Vanity Fair this week that her son could have actually been fathered by Frank Sinatra, Mario Puzo, George McGovern, Robert Altman, Anthony Perkins, Milton Berle, Robert Redford, Michael Caine, Danny Aiello, or Bruce Dern, or possibly even Francis Ford Coppola, John Cassavetes, Tony Curtis, Dustin Hoffman, Quincy Jones, Sydney Pollack, Joe Mantegna, Liam Neeson, John Irvin, Bob Balaban, or William Hurt.
“Even though we were only married for a few years, Frank was the love of my life, and the truth is I never really split up with him, or, for that matter, Dudley Moore, Kurt Russell, Walter Cronkite, Richard Gere, Gore Vidal, Oliver Stone, Bob Costas, Burt Bacharach, or Prince,” the 68-year-old actress and humanitarian told reporters, noting that while she was seriously involved with Allen from 1980 until 1992, she still “had never really forgotten” former flames Henry Rollins, John Malkovich, Michael Dukakis, Huey Lewis, Paul Newman, and Bill Laimbeer. “But then, of course, about a year before [Ronan was born], I had also recently reconnected with ‘Pistol’ Pete Maravich, Mikhail Gorbachev, Michael Landon, David Lynch, Jim Henson, Prince Charles, O.J. Simpson, Bruce Hornsby, Fred Rogers, Ted Turner, George Peppard, Jeffrey Dahmer, Phil Collins, Grandmaster Flash, David Duke, Gordon Lightfoot, and Greg Louganis, whom I realized I’d never really gotten over. So they’re possibilities as well.”
Family sources also reported that Ronan Farrow has spent Father’s Day the past three years with song parodist “Weird Al” Yankovic.
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