MOM THOUGHT NFL’S FIRST OPENLY GAY PLAYER SHOULD HAVE BEEN DRAFTED EARLIER

The Onion
May 12, 2014

MINNETONKA, MN—Saying he was clearly one of the top choices and definitely should not have been one of the last players selected, local mother Annalise Callahan told reporters Monday that she thought Michael Sam, the NFL’s first openly gay player, should have been drafted earlier.

“I don’t get why it took so long for him to get picked—he should have been one of the first ones,” said Callahan, expressing her disbelief that the defensive end was selected 249th overall and noting that, if she were them, she would have chosen him as number one. “You’d think one of those teams would have picked him in the top 10. I mean, it would have at least been a nice thing to do. I don’t know why they even chose all those fat guys before him who probably can’t even run.”

Callahan went on to add that while she was happy for Sam, she shouldn’t have to worry about seeing two men kissing every time she turned on her TV.