MISLABELING OF PIZZLE MAKES TEXAS AG SIZZLE

Austin’s MT Supermarket is being sued by the Texas Attorney General’s Office for selling bull peckers for human consumption

KXAN reports the Texas Attorney General’s Office has filed a civil lawsuit against Austin’s MT Supermarket and some of its employees for mislabeling pizzle and selling it for human consumption. For the uninitiated, pizzle is the penis of an animal, in this case bull pecker.

In America, those bull peckers are usually used in chewable dog toys or in certain types of glue. According to KXAN:

The suit alleges a manager and employees at the supermarket took the pizzle from boxes “labeled inedible beef, not intended for use as human food and repackaged the pizzle in consumer size packages, then labeled the pizzle as human food.” The suit goes on to say the defendants labeled the packages to indicate the pizzle was inspected and from a registered source.

The managers and any of the MT Supermarket employees who had a hand in mislabeling the pizzle are subject to a $5,000 fine for duping customers into believing that them thar bull peckers are a delicacy for humans.

The Europeans use dried and ground beef pizzle in soups and drinks because it is thought to be an aphrodisiac. The Asians prize deer pizzle as a boost to stamina and performance – sort of a natural version of Cialis or Viagra. The Chinese fed their athletes deer peckers, believing they would boost the performance of their 2008 Olympics team. It must have worked, because they won 51 gold medals, 21 silver medals and 28 bronze medals, the 100 medals being the most any team won.

As for MT Supermarket “trying to pass off bull dick as notbull dick,” Hair Ball’s Craig Malisow wrote:

We wonder if any customers complained that the meat had an extra-nutty flavor. We wonder if any customers complained that the meat was too hard. We wonder if any customers complained that the meat got bigger in their mouths.

Sorry, but I can’t top that.