Tuesday, December 25, 2018

HOLIDAY TRADITIONS

by Bob Walsh

Well, I have just finished completing my newest holiday tradition. I drink about six cans of Green Death and drive round the neighborhood with a high-powered Webley pellet gun putting holes in the heads of Olaf blow-up Christmas decorations. I figure that must be as good a way to celebrate the birth of Yeshua ben Yosef as any other. I do this with traditional Christmas carols blasting loudly out of the sound system of my pickup-truck. (I don't actually, I am lying my ass off, another Christmas tradition. I am actually stone cold sober when I do it.)

Happy Holidays to one and all. Merry Christmas. Ho Ho Ho. Watch a good Christmas movie, like DIE HARD, have some eggnog or spiced cider or whatever floats your boat. Feed your dog some left-over turkey or ham. They should be able to enjoy the holiday as well, especially if you make them wear a reindeer costume. Just don't let them out like that. Some drunk idiot in a pick-up truck might shoot them with a pellet gun.

Enjoy.

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